zhang57

His bitterness, abruptly, became acuteAh done so damn much for them men, an’ they never did ‘preciate itThat time Ah got the liquor for ‘em, ol’ Red thought Ah was cheatin’ himWhat the hell kind of way was that not to trust a buddy? Thinkin’ Ah cheated himAn’ then when Ah jus’ shot that little ol’ bush away, an’ Croft grabbed me like thatHe’s jus’ a itty-bitty fellow, Ah coulda broken him in half if he didn’t take me by surpriseBut that was a hell of a way to act jus’ ’cause Ah was pissin’ around a littleHis thoughts ambled along, drawing a righteous contentment from all the times the men had misunderstood himAh give Gol’stein a drink, or at least Ah wanted to but he was so damn chickenshit about it, he wouldn’t even take itAnd then Gallagher callin’ me a dumb cracker, and po’ white trashHe didn’t have to do that, Ah was damn nice to him when his wife died, but none of them ‘preciate anythin’, they gucci g watch jus’ take off an’ save they own ass, and to hell with anybody elseCroft didn’t have to ride me since Ah got sick, Ah cain’t he’p it if mah insides are shot plumb to hellHe sighed again, the grass blurring before his eyesJus’ took off an’ left me alone, don’ give a damn what happens to meHe thought of all the distance they had covered, and wondered if he could crawl backHe dredged himself over the ground for a few feet, halting in painHis mind hovered about the realization that he was badly wounded, marooned miles and miles from anywhere, alone in a barren wildernessBut he could not grasp it, sinking back again into a partial stupor from the effort it had cost him to crawlHe heard someone groan, then groan again, and realized with surprise that he was making the sounds
The sun was burning on his back, laving his body with a pleasant heatSlowly he could feel himself sinking into the earth, its warmth hermes tas spreading about, supporting himAll the grass and the roots and the ground smelled of sunlight, and his mind eddied back through the images of plowed earth and steaming horses, back to the afternoon when he had sat on a stone by the side of the road, and watched the colored girl walk by, her breasts jouncing against her cotton frockHe tried to remember the name of the girl he was going to see that night, and began gigglingWonder if she knows Ah’m sixteen? His wound had roused a warm and blunted nausea in his belly, almost like the bubbling of passion in his groin, and he floated along, not quite anchored to either the road beside the house where he had been born or to the valley of grass in which he layVague lusts chased themselves through his headThe tall grass, nebulous and waving, seemed as high as a forest to him; he could not remember if he was in the jungle or not, and his nose amplified the dolce and gabbana knock off odors here, blended them into his memory of the rich fetor of the jungleGoddam, just to smell a woman again
The blood was trickling faster over his fingers, and he sweated, thinking of liquid things, lost in a welter of lovemaking, recalling acutely the feel of a woman’s belly and hips, her mouthThe sun was very bright, very satisfactoryPlays hell on a man when he don’ get his ass regularAh bet that’s why mah insides turned back on me, an’ got full of pusHis reverie was shattered by the thoughtAh don’ want no op-per-ration, they gonna kill me with itWhen Ah git back, Ah’ll tell ‘em, Ah won’ take no truck, Ah’ll jus’ tell ‘em that all the pus jus’ bled out of me, an’ mah insides are fixed upHe began to giggle weaklyGoddam, when that ol’ wound closes, Ah’m gonna have two belly buttons, one right under t’otherWonder what t’ hell Alice’ll say when she sees it?”
The sun passed behind a cloud and he felt buy chanel purse cold and shiveredHis senses cleared again for a minute or two and he was frightened and miserableThey cain’ jus’ lea’ me alone here, the men gotta come back for meThe grass was rustling in the wind, and he listened to it mournfully, hovering near a knowledge he did not want to confrontHe roused himself, managed to stand up in the grass for a moment, caught sight of the hills and the cliffs of Mount Anaka, and then pitched forward, sweating coldlyAh’m a man, he told himself, Ah cain’t go to piecesAh never took no crap from no one, an’ Ah ain’t gonna start nowIf a man’s chicken, he ain’t worth a goddam
But his limbs were cold, and he shuddered continuallyThe sun has come out but it gave him no warmthHe heard the sound of groaning again, and then once again; he writhed from a sudden convulsionThat was me made that noiseThe pain returned, hammered at his entrails”Goddam sonofabitch,” he bawled out black quilted bag suddenl